I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
40s are totally the cure
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
