I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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