Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
