i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
