after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
