yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
