she looked like the before picture.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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