So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
