I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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