Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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