Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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