That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
