Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
