I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
