We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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