I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize