idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
