I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
