That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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