we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize