Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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