Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
