woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
