Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
