Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
