so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
