i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
