if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
