I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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