Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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