Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
