The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
