Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
