Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
