the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
