So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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