I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize