apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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