Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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