question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
