We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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