True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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