wakey wakey hands off snakey
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
