We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
