Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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