Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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