planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
