Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
