We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
