you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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