why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
