she was so not down for the gang bang
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
