my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize