Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
