There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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