oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
