it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
