Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
