We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
