Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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