If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
