Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
