well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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