i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
