One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
