The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
