I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
