I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize