im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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